You’re a firestarter, twisted firestarter
Universal
The Shop has a new leader — Hollister (Gloria Reuben), who definitely wants to get her hands on Charlie. Reuben’s character feels like a casualty of some heavy editing, because she’s set up to be the film’s big bad but she barely has anything to do. Who is she? What are her motivations? What is her character? Who knows! She just shows up from time to time. She also recruits a mysterious badass named Rainbird (Michael Greyeyes) to track down Charlie. Greyeyes is a phenomenal actor — just see his incredible turn in “Wild Indian.” When I heard he was cast in this role, I was excited. But unfortunately, as is the case with Reuben’s character, the film leaves him stranded. Greyeyes does manage to make an impression with his few moments — he’s suitably cool and scary. But his motivations never really make sense, and the way the film wraps up his story is downright baffling.
After a series of unfortunate events at school (events that include the world’s worst teacher, who simply stands around saying nothing as bullies mock Charlie mercilessly), Charlie and Andy end up on the run. And then … the movie just sort of ends. To be fair, “Firestarter” is not exactly one of King’s best books, nor is it one of his sprawling tomes that spans thousands of pages. But there’s definitely plenty of material to work with, and the new “Firestarter” doesn’t seem interested in that. Again: you get the distinct impression that this is a secret TV pilot, and that everyone involved is saving stuff for the series, should it get picked up. Here’s the thing: the previous “Firestarter” movie, starring Drew Barrymore, wasn’t very good, to begin with. This new take on the material is a bit more successful. But that’s not really saying much. There are occasional bursts of life, like a sequence where Charlie more or less Bourne Identities herself into The Shop. And there are more than a few gnarly, nasty moments showing hideous burns that are the result of Charlie’s power. Blanketing all of this is a killer, propulsive score from John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, and Daniel Davies (honestly, the score is the best part of the whole movie). “Firestarter” isn’t offensively bad. It’s not likely to make you angry, or have you calling it the worst dang thing you’ve ever seen. But it is aggressively average, bordering on mediocre. There’s nothing fiery here. It’s lukewarm at best.
/Film Rating: 5 out of 10
Firestarter Review: The Latest Stephen King Adaptation Is Lukewarm At Best
Universal Pictures
By Chris Evangelista/May 13, 2022 9:49 am EST
Screenwriter Scott Teems keeps the basic outline of King’s book but reworks it, changing the timeline a bit, and modernizing it in clumsy ways (“I want wifi!” Charlie, who has been denied the internet her whole life, screams at one point). When we first meet Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong, who is quite good here, but ultimately failed by the material), she’s living with her parents Andy (Zac Efron, weirdly bland here) and Vicky (Sydney Lemmon, slightly better if underused). An opening credits sequence informs us that Andy and Vicky both possess psychic abilities, and those abilities were heightened thanks to an experimental drug called Lot 6. A mysterious organization, officially known as DSI but colloquially referred to as The Shop, ran the experiments, and turned Andy and Vicky into superpowered beings. The idea of reframing “Firestarter” as a superhero story isn’t a bad one, especially in our current age when superhero flicks are constant. But aside from a brief moment where a character tells Charlie she’s a “real-life superhero,” not a whole lot is done with this concept.
After the experiments, Andy and Vicky had a daughter, Charlie. And she inherited their powers — and gained some of her own, like conjuring up flames when she gets particularly angry or emotional. Her powers are dangerous; so dangerous they even worry her parents — the film opens with an extended dream sequence that involves Zac Efron holding a baby that literally catches fire in his hands. But worse than all that, the parents are worried people from The Shop want to come snatch Charlie away to study her. And they’re right.
You’re a firestarter, twisted firestarter
Universal
The Shop has a new leader — Hollister (Gloria Reuben), who definitely wants to get her hands on Charlie. Reuben’s character feels like a casualty of some heavy editing, because she’s set up to be the film’s big bad but she barely has anything to do. Who is she? What are her motivations? What is her character? Who knows! She just shows up from time to time. She also recruits a mysterious badass named Rainbird (Michael Greyeyes) to track down Charlie. Greyeyes is a phenomenal actor — just see his incredible turn in “Wild Indian.” When I heard he was cast in this role, I was excited. But unfortunately, as is the case with Reuben’s character, the film leaves him stranded. Greyeyes does manage to make an impression with his few moments — he’s suitably cool and scary. But his motivations never really make sense, and the way the film wraps up his story is downright baffling.
After a series of unfortunate events at school (events that include the world’s worst teacher, who simply stands around saying nothing as bullies mock Charlie mercilessly), Charlie and Andy end up on the run. And then … the movie just sort of ends. To be fair, “Firestarter” is not exactly one of King’s best books, nor is it one of his sprawling tomes that spans thousands of pages. But there’s definitely plenty of material to work with, and the new “Firestarter” doesn’t seem interested in that. Again: you get the distinct impression that this is a secret TV pilot, and that everyone involved is saving stuff for the series, should it get picked up. Here’s the thing: the previous “Firestarter” movie, starring Drew Barrymore, wasn’t very good, to begin with. This new take on the material is a bit more successful. But that’s not really saying much. There are occasional bursts of life, like a sequence where Charlie more or less Bourne Identities herself into The Shop. And there are more than a few gnarly, nasty moments showing hideous burns that are the result of Charlie’s power. Blanketing all of this is a killer, propulsive score from John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, and Daniel Davies (honestly, the score is the best part of the whole movie). “Firestarter” isn’t offensively bad. It’s not likely to make you angry, or have you calling it the worst dang thing you’ve ever seen. But it is aggressively average, bordering on mediocre. There’s nothing fiery here. It’s lukewarm at best.
/Film Rating: 5 out of 10
After a series of unfortunate events at school (events that include the world’s worst teacher, who simply stands around saying nothing as bullies mock Charlie mercilessly), Charlie and Andy end up on the run. And then … the movie just sort of ends. To be fair, “Firestarter” is not exactly one of King’s best books, nor is it one of his sprawling tomes that spans thousands of pages. But there’s definitely plenty of material to work with, and the new “Firestarter” doesn’t seem interested in that. Again: you get the distinct impression that this is a secret TV pilot, and that everyone involved is saving stuff for the series, should it get picked up.
Here’s the thing: the previous “Firestarter” movie, starring Drew Barrymore, wasn’t very good, to begin with. This new take on the material is a bit more successful. But that’s not really saying much. There are occasional bursts of life, like a sequence where Charlie more or less Bourne Identities herself into The Shop. And there are more than a few gnarly, nasty moments showing hideous burns that are the result of Charlie’s power. Blanketing all of this is a killer, propulsive score from John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, and Daniel Davies (honestly, the score is the best part of the whole movie). “Firestarter” isn’t offensively bad. It’s not likely to make you angry, or have you calling it the worst dang thing you’ve ever seen. But it is aggressively average, bordering on mediocre. There’s nothing fiery here. It’s lukewarm at best.
/Film Rating: 5 out of 10
